I’m scared, not sad or depressed but absolutely petrified about what has happened. Petrified that I will never ever be able to trust anyone again. Petrified that I will never be able to open my heart to anyone again and fearful that any man I meet in the future will do exactly the same as AB and all the others as soon as I fall for them.
I told the children, that proves to me and those around me that there is no going back, not that he’s asked but I made it perfectly clear after the first time that they would be no other chances. They were devastated but I think because they could see I was OK that they took it in their stride. I’m so proud of them both, they’ve had so much shit in their young lives where men are concerned that I think they knew it would happen in the end anyway.
I’m not where I was this time last year. I’m not going to let AB affect me like I let him and I’m going to keep smiling, be happy and not fall for any man’s words again. We can and we will be happy and survive without a man, we have before but it was nice to think we had someone looking after us for a little while there.
I have my memories, my photos, my family and friends to look after me, I don’t need anything else.